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P: Sam Wolf's poems

 
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SamWolf

 

Age: 24
Gender: Gender:Female
Rank: t.A.T.u. Addict

Joined: 06 Feb 2010

Posts: 274

Post subject: P: Sam Wolf's poems Reply with quote
Okay, this is a first. Not only my first poem, but also I typed it right into the new topic thingy...no word document...no spell check...nada...Weird. Ah well...its here, its done, its staying. I'm not deleting it now. Welcome to my life.

[Warning: Some may become depressed by this.]

Two Drugs, One Song
--------------------------------------------------------------


I'm in serious shit...
I feel totally lost...

Two lines from one of my favorite songs.
Two lines that seem to define my life for the past 3 months...

I try to go on with life as I remember it,
but I know I can't.
Even the memory of how it used to be is slowly fading...

By night I encase myself in the dark drug that I can't seem to live without.
By day I seek refuge in the medicine that keeps me from falling apart.

I feel totally lost...

Although I know the consequences,
I can't stop what I've begun.
I try to get into rehab,
but I can't bare the thought of being away from my precious drugs.

One has the reputation of killing,
of inflicting harm.
It damages the heart and gets you stuck in its net.
You become addicted within days...

The dark drug...


The other is a complete opposite.
With a reputation for helping people,
Usually one doesn't become addicted.

I have...I can't live without that medicine...


I'm in serious shit...

I'm always happy when I'm entranced by my drugs,
but the cold truth always remains.

I'm commiting a sin...I should stop this immediatelly...

I can't...I'd fall apart if I left.

I'm never truly happy,
though I try to tell myself I am.
My drugs bring me bliss and distraction...

But pain and guilt remains...like a knife cutting into my skin...

I feel totally lost...
Sometimes I question if I know who I am anymore...
I don't know what to do...


I'm in serious shit...
My life is going down the drain...'
I can't stop it...


I'm addicted to two drugs...
My heart is torn in two...

Will I ever be free...
Yes I've lost my mind...

Funny how song lyrics define my life so perfectly these days...

Guess thats just my life...
PostWed Apr 14, 2010 1:02 am
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Lady Laviniya

 

Age: 24
Gender: Gender:Female
Rank: t.A.T.u.Expert

Joined: 08 Nov 2009

Posts: 401

Post subject: Reply with quote
---

Last edited by Lady Laviniya on Wed Mar 28, 2012 2:42 am; edited 1 time in total
PostWed Apr 14, 2010 3:24 pm
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SamWolf

 

Age: 24
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Rank: t.A.T.u. Addict

Joined: 06 Feb 2010

Posts: 274

Post subject: Reply with quote
yes, its exactly what you think it is. all of its true ya know. *sighs*
PostWed Apr 14, 2010 8:50 pm
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SamWolf

 

Age: 24
Gender: Gender:Female
Rank: t.A.T.u. Addict

Joined: 06 Feb 2010

Posts: 274

Post subject: P: How Could You?! (PG13) Reply with quote
Laviniya....my angel...my Lenoka...my perfect mistake...how could you?

------------------------------


What the hell?!
How could you?!
I fucking love you!
How the hell could you betray me like this?
Why...just...why?

...All of this is screaming in my head,
threatening to escape my lips.

My throat is choked,
are you choking me without even touching me?
I don't know...

My world has been turned upside down...
(How the hell did this happen?)
My angel turned into what I thought could never be.
(Perhaps she was never an angel in the first place...)
My heart is being torn apart.
(It might actually die this time...)
My tears are fighting to escape.
(But I won't let them...)

You lied to me.
(How could you?)
You told me you loved me.
(Was that a lie too?)
You said I was too good for you...

If thats true then why the hell did you go and do that??
Why did you go to someone else??!
I'm not good enough for you?
Is that it?
I'm not enough?!
I do everything for you!
I risk everything I have for YOU!
And HOW do you repay me?
You went and let a man touch you!
You told him to turn you on!
What the hell Lenoka?!
WHY?!

I'm falling apart, and its your fault!
I don't want your explanations!
I don't want it!
Stay the fuck away!

.....

Even though I say all this now...
I'll probably be back at your door tommorow...
I'll be back for my heart to be broken again...
I can't bare to look at you...
Yet I don't think I can bare to stay away.
I turned off my phone...
But I'll probably be back within an hour...
What can I say?
I'm hopelessly addicted to you...
I'm wrapped around your finger...
God...I hope you can forgive me for typing all of that...
Gomenasai....

------------------------------------

Yep, I was right. Phone is on again, and I'm constantly checking it. Am I replying? No...don't trust myself yet. (written at 1 PM)

(update for whom it concerns at 7:46 PM) things have been cleared up, so don't worry. it was just a misunderstanding...although I'm now going to have to beat up that douche tommorow. wish me luck.
PostThu Apr 15, 2010 1:18 pm
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Nighthawk

 

Age: 29
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Rank: t.A.T.u.Supreme

Joined: 26 Oct 2009

Posts: 1422

Post subject: Reply with quote
Good luck Sam! KICK HIS ASS!!!
I hope you and Lavy make up Frown u guys are too cute together!
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In Absentia Lucis, Tenebrae Vincent
PostFri Apr 16, 2010 12:20 am
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SamWolf

 

Age: 24
Gender: Gender:Female
Rank: t.A.T.u. Addict

Joined: 06 Feb 2010

Posts: 274

Post subject: Reply with quote
thanks night...I'm gonna need it. though hes rather dumb and brutish and a complete and utter ass, he is bigger than me and probably stronger. wolf has anger though. I refuse to fail.
PostFri Apr 16, 2010 1:53 am
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Nighthawk

 

Age: 29
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Rank: t.A.T.u.Supreme

Joined: 26 Oct 2009

Posts: 1422

Post subject: Reply with quote
I know you'll win. You just gotta know where and how to hit him. Look up some simple Aikido self defense moves. I tell ya that shit is the simplest yet most affective martial art I've ever practiced.
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In Absentia Lucis, Tenebrae Vincent
PostFri Apr 16, 2010 11:29 pm
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Volkster

 

Age: 37
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Rank: C-Moderator

Joined: 19 Jan 2005

Posts: 4614

Post subject: Reply with quote
Please remember to keep all poetry and songs under one single thread

Merged
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"There's love, there's hope ... for some. Hope that you'll find something worthy, that your life will lead you to some joy, that after everything ... you can still be surprised. Is that enough to live on?"
PostSun Jun 30, 2013 11:14 am
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