San Francisco Guardian Review Dec05

yuliasChocolateVisions · **yuliasChocolateVisions**

Dont let the title fool ya! EnJOY!!!!

Russian Catholic Schoolgirl Lesbo prison sluts

t.A.T.u. forgo the shtick

The appeal of t.A.T.u. is so complex that it can only e illustrated through a story. A fable, if you will. Last Saturday, I went to a small, classy get-together with red wine, sorbet, U.S. history Grad students and hardcore animal lovers. Among these goodies was a tray of luscious-looking brownies, which, according to our habit, my friend George and I launched ourselves at, like sneaker-clad rocket ships.
"These are amazing!" George exclaimed.
" And they're vegan!" Sarah the animal lover said.
"They are so good!" I said.
" And they're even better, because they're vegan!" Sarah beamed.
" They're vegan?" George said, as words finally passed through his chocolate -hazed brain. " Goddammit. Now I have to go strangle a chicken to make up for all the animals I didnt eat."
Sarah left.
If George had ben t.A.T.u., he would've gone and strangled eight chickens and made the vegans watch while he drank their blood. Then he would've put on a mini kilt and pranced around in the rain while tongue-kissing another man, but thats a different story altogether. I love this band. Its mere existence - let alone its ensuing popularity - is a giant middle finger to the world of musical snobbery.
2002's video of ' All the Things She Said" was the Scrooge McDuck of music videos. It enraged, amused and inflamed- but hey, in the end, there's just something endearing about such a naked display of cynical, calculated greed.
Naked greed is nothing new in the music industry. But very few have the balls to reach for it like that. Here's another thing that separates t.A.T.u. from the cold, grasping fingers of Jessica Simpsons and Lindsay Lohans of the world- "All the Things She Said" is an awesome song. If I had a nickel for every Michelle Branch clone out there, I wouldnt be working in a record store, I'd be a professional caviar eater and limousine-rider. But in a world of boring, black-haired lasses singing sincerely about themselves- t.A.T.u. is dark and gothic. They mis strings arrangments and techno. That driving beat alone is enough to stat me sweating under my armpits.
And above all this complexity are those two pre-pubescent voices, high and sweet and plaintive. They are like two beautiful gulls, soaring over a dark and roiling sea. Or something like that.
As clever as their schtick was, the shock value of two Russian Catholic school girl lesbo prison sluts could only last so long- which is a damn shame, in my book. I've heard of this particular phenomenon among lesbian couples of long-standing that eventually the sex decreases until they are just best friends who happen to share the same bed.
Well, if t.A.T.u. happens to be lesbians, this process must have been dramatically accelerated because on their second album, Dangerous and Moving, they have downgraded the lesbian love affair until they merely share the strong bond of best friendship- which if you've ever seen The Sisterhood of The Traveling Pants, is nothing to sneeze at. Having won the attention and monetary rewards that they so richly deserve, t.A.T.u. can now rest on their laurels and continue to do what they do best- which is produce kickass pop music.
The lyrics are sharp, the music semi-industral, and is that Sting playing the bass on one of the songs? Sweet Lord, yes it is. Sting plays bass on " Friend or Foe", which I've read is set to be the next single released. The lyrics have that adolescent passion which we can all still remember, when prompted: " We used to love one another/ Live for each other/So/Are you friend or Foe/ Cause I used to know."
My favorite song on the album, however, makes about as much sense to English speakers as the 1.5. songs sung in Russian. " Cosmos (Outer Space)" is about living in outer space. I dont get it. But it still has a stong driving beat, even the chorus can get repetitive and annoying.
I apologize. This review should've only been a paragraph long. How long does it take to say, " I love it!" anyway? But I realize what I was up against when free promotional materials were being given out and the free copy of this CD was being openly mocked. I spent good money on that thing. Dont laugh at me.
You are not what you listen to: I am not a quasi-lesbian Russian pop duo and have no intention of becoming so in the near future. But the fact remains that this album is a solid collections of intense, quality pop. For all you pop-loving crap-mongerers ho are licking up the new Imogen Heap album like it was coated n Pixie Stix sugar dust, please consider giving Dangerous and Moving a chance.

by: Adrienne So[/b]
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check me out. I make music for the girlies www.myspace.com/sighcanada for more queer fun check out my band www.myspace.com/lazytops

Maraja · **Maraja**

First I thought she was gonna mock the hell out of them, but it turned out really good! Thanks a lot for posting ycv! (Nice to see you around by the way Grin

)
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a.k.a. Sir Pish E. (*Mufflemuffle*)

malchikgej04 · **malchikgej04**

idioteque · **idioteque**

And THAT ladies and gentlemen, is why the Guardian fuckin' ROCKS. I read it all the time and they always have great music reviews. Rock

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If nothing ever moves, put that needle to the groove. And sing.

RowerB · **RowerB**

Thanks for posting, yuliasChocolateVisions.
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I've got "Property of Yulia Volkova" tatued on my heart.